The Stars That Usher Evening Rose

I am a little overdue posting on here I think. Niki, Jamie and I got back from Atlanta on Monday. We had a great time and are already trying to plan another trip but this time to D.C. I will go more in depth about that in my next post. But for this post I guess I will use it as they were most likely originally intended to be used for, an outlet for some ramblings of my mind.



I find myself in an interesting predicament though I am far from the first person to have this as a problem. I have mentioned Jamie on this blog several times but never really expressed anything about her other than I became friends with her through Niki. But the predicament that I find myself in is one that pretains to Jamie and that Niki already knows about, though I don't think she quiet knows the extent of it. My brother-in-law (Niki's dad) also knows a little about it as well as my friend Michael, who probably knows the most about it. My problem mainly is that I have come to like Jamie a lot, as in having feelings for her. In my opinion She is absolutely beautiful, she has an amazing personality, she is an incredibly strong individual as she has had to be in order to make it through some of the crap she has gone through, just over all she is an amazing person. Plus she is a whole of a lot of fun to hang out with, I mean shoot I can't lie I look forward to every time she comes over, hell she was even part the reason I looked forward to going on the Atlanta trip because it meant I got to spend two days with her. The only negative thing about her that I had was the age difference factor as she is five almost six years younger than I am. Which I will admit when I first started becoming interested in her that part made me pretty apprehensive about the whole thing. But, in the end it did not take me long to look past it, partly because she does carry herself as someone older than she is. But, the problem I have is that she has a boyfriend, named Chris, who she has been dating for over two years now and even though they have had some rough patches of late I still have a really hard time believing that she would be interested in me especially to the point that she would even consider me in that way. Therefore I know my chances of anything happening with her are fairly slim and that there probably is not a whole lot I can do about it. At least not that I am aware of. Plus I am hesitant to do anything because I don't want to come across as a jerk or some obsessed weirdo (which I can promise I am not) and I don't want to chance messing up our friendship. Plus I also know that Niki is not overly keen on the idea as she has said that it would make things really weird for her. Which I totally understand why that is as I probably would feel the same way if I was her. So I am overall at a loss of what to do. Basically all I know to do is just basically tell her how I feel, and not because I think it will change anything but mostly just so this whole thing will stop eating at me. You know just kind of get the monkey off my back per say so that way my brain can somewhat get back to normal. I wouldn't be making a move on her, as I wouldn't do that, but just letting her know how I feel and leave it at that. Basically at that point if anything did happen between us it would be because she made a move and decided to get me a shot(whether it be based off what I told her or not). So there you have it the ramblings of my mind at least for now. Suggestions are welcome if anyone who reads this has any ideas. Anyway I will probably post about the Atlanta trip tomorrow before I go to work.